I know that I haven’t really been posting on this blog for a long time but truth is, I just kind of lost motivation to work on this. I thought that I could really pick it up during the summer but honestly, I’ve just been kind of meh during this summer break. One main reason is because of my knee. I bet you just thought “what does that have to do with anything?” But if you know me, you’d know that I’ve had knee problems for about 4 years now. I injured my knee my junior year of high school in lacrosse and just thought that it was something that would go away but it never did. So after everyone and their mom telling me to go see a sport medicine doctor, I finally scheduled an appointment.
The reason I put off seeing a specialist for so long was because I did not want to hear that I couldn’t play anymore. I’ve been sports for as long as I could remember. From dressing up as a soccer player for Halloween in kindergarten to being one of the only girls in the prestigious 3-on-3 basketball tournament in 5th grade to doing various lacrosse camps and clinics. Sports have always been apart of my life and if I have to stop playing, then my life would be empty. That’s why I never wanted to go to a specialist.
I’m one of those people who believe that if you just don’t think about it, it’ll go away. Hence, why I’ve been playing on a bad knee for a long time.
I finally decided to just bite the bullet and do it. So I scheduled an appointment with a sport doctor after looking at like a million in my area because you know, you want a good doctor and someone who will actually care. So I went to my doctor’s appointment and he said that it could be two things but I need x-rays and an MRI to really determine what was wrong.
I had my x-rays and MRI done last week and now I’m just kind of nervous for what my doctor has to say. I’m just nervous because I know that I have to do some sort PT and I feel like that means that I won’t be able to play for a while. Which kind of scares me.
Playing college lacrosse was a dream of mine since I started playing lacrosse my freshman year of high school. And having to give that up is something that I don’t think that I can do.
I was watching the Kerri Walsh-Jennings documentary on TV yesterday and it kind of changed my perspective on all of this. It was about how Kerri had to work her way back from having shoulder surgery in time for the Olympics. One thing she said was that “you have to be comfortable with being vulnerable in order to succeed.” That really stuck with me.
I hate being weak. I hate having people see me be weak. But seeing Kerri accept the struggle of having to start from the beginning in order to get back Olympic status made me realize that I can do this. I can (hopefully) get through whatever this is and be able to play to my full potential.
I know this post is random but I feel like I just kind of needed to express where I’m at in my life right now because it has been floating around and clogging up my mind for a long time.
ps. I know the feature picture is random but I really like it.